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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Parents Who Bully Teachers

(This is Part II of "Parents as Bullies".)



I reported the bully parent to the police because she put my students in danger and frightened them. That was more than crossing the line. The bully parent apparently does not think it was a big deal but my district does (now) and has restricted her movements on campus. She must check into the office (as all parents are required to do) but may not go to any classroom without authorization. I have banned her from my classroom. She still may attend any public functions at the school, but she is on notice that if she decides to push the issues she will banned from the campus permanently.


Also, the district has said that I do not have answer or address any of the issues that are outside the realm of her son's IEP (individual Educational Program as mandated by the government) since we have consistently gone above and beyond for issues of his IEP. This should put an end to the barrage of daily emails and notes.


The bottom line is that this bully parent still does not get it. Undoubtedly she will push some other issue but her credibility is gone. She acknowledged she was extremely angry when she barged into my classroom and was in a rage over something she considered a slight. Originally, I had volunteered to do something on a daily basis for her son which was NOT a part of his IEP. It had not been done the day of her rage because it was raining and I was required to let my students in 25 minutes earlier than usual and I had overlooked it. She took it as a personal affront. What can I say? She was consumed with righteous indignation over something that was being done as a personal favor to her. There is no dealing with people who feel that sense of entitlement. That is pretty much a hallmark of a bully parent.


I still do not know if the police will charge her. She could be charged with a felony. If she is, she could lose her state license in her profession. I saw on line that she has already had complaints filed against her and she has only been in the state less than two years. We had a close family member who was in the same profession for forty years and never had a single complaint.


For any teachers reading this, parents who are bullies cannot be placated. One seemingly harmless, but unreasonable request leads to another and another. The bully parent feeds on the power of making you comply with her wishes. I knew this immediately but was told to go along. It was only a matter of time before this came to a head.


My principal and district have backed me fully, but they did not do so immediately. I made it clear that I was reporting the incident to the police whether they liked it or not. As the incident and the history of the mother's bizarre behavior came to light things changed, and they came around. I feel vindicated now but it was not easy.

4 comments:

PEM Cell Hydrogen said...

Good for you. Someone has to do something. If the good people always stand by, the bad ones will take over.

Liz said...

It was scary because I was afraid she would try to get revenge, then I knew that we would all be victims of her bullying AGAIN!

Because districts are afraid of the cost of lawsuits I'm afriad they will continue to cave in. Since Gary is an attorney I had a huge advantage that 99.9% of teachers don't. I have been a lifetime member of our teacher's association (it ISN'T a union) so I don't know if they could have helped much. Maybe, at some point, the district knew I had the resources to fight this woman, (who had threatened me with,"I'll call my lawyer." I always told her, "Go ahead," since I knew that was a total bluff) and the district became more afraid of a lawsuit from me! I have never in my entire career used the "lawyer" card because then I would have been a bully, too.

Tina Puntigam said...

I wonder if bullies ever see how ridiculous they are? I'm glad to hear that you reported her behavior.

Neva said...

Lawyer card or not....you are best not messed with when you are in the right!!! I am glad they are finally behind you.....a bit slow in Arizona but wait.....coming from the state with the governor who tried to sell Obama's Senate seat...who am I to talk about slow??????