Most people think they know bullying. They don’t. Movies and television have made the stereotypical bully a literal character. Think Eddie Haskell of “Leave It To Beaver.” The truth is bullies know how to fly below the radar. I will show you how to spot bullies. The following applies to elementary schools through college and to ANY workplace or home environment on planet earth. You might even be a bully and not be aware that you speak “Bullyease”.
Sarcasm
Bullies are sarcastic towards people. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for sarcasm, but not towards others, and especially never toward children.
A favorite expression of bullies is:
“I was just kidding,”
or, it’s evil twin;
“Can’t you take a joke?”
When people use those pathetic excuses, vacate the premises. Sarcasm, such as the joking or kidding variety contains one or all of these four intentions:
-to be hurtful
-to feel superior
-to be right and therefore make someone else wrong
and
to humiliate.
Next time someone says to you “I was just kidding,” or “Can’t you take a joke?” look them in the eye and ask, “What exactly is your intention?” because I can bet it will be one of the above reasons. Bullies sputter and bluster and immediately try to put you on the defensive, which is one the very favorite weapons in bullyworld. You can then say, “That’s what I thought.”
Yes, there is a time and a place for sarcasm; the weather, egotistical public figures, the economy, politics, greedy companies that exploit for profit, are all fair targets for sarcasm. However, too often sarcasm is a pathetic replacement for wit and humor. The vast majority of the time sarcasm is mean-spiritedness in a sorry clown costume.
The mean-spirited, humiliating, righteously indignant and hurtful sarcasm has been banned from my classroom and home for years. I haven’t missed it.
Sarcasm
Bullies are sarcastic towards people. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for sarcasm, but not towards others, and especially never toward children.
A favorite expression of bullies is:
“I was just kidding,”
or, it’s evil twin;
“Can’t you take a joke?”
When people use those pathetic excuses, vacate the premises. Sarcasm, such as the joking or kidding variety contains one or all of these four intentions:
-to be hurtful
-to feel superior
-to be right and therefore make someone else wrong
and
to humiliate.
Next time someone says to you “I was just kidding,” or “Can’t you take a joke?” look them in the eye and ask, “What exactly is your intention?” because I can bet it will be one of the above reasons. Bullies sputter and bluster and immediately try to put you on the defensive, which is one the very favorite weapons in bullyworld. You can then say, “That’s what I thought.”
Yes, there is a time and a place for sarcasm; the weather, egotistical public figures, the economy, politics, greedy companies that exploit for profit, are all fair targets for sarcasm. However, too often sarcasm is a pathetic replacement for wit and humor. The vast majority of the time sarcasm is mean-spiritedness in a sorry clown costume.
The mean-spirited, humiliating, righteously indignant and hurtful sarcasm has been banned from my classroom and home for years. I haven’t missed it.
5 comments:
If a bully is after you with sarcasm, respond by not reacting to it. I mean, just ignore it and walk away - that's one option you likely know if you grew up with siblings. Don't let it bug you, and you'll lose interest.
Another option is to respond, but again, don't let the bully know it bugged you. You could try repeating they just said, a way to let them know you heard it, but it doesn't bug you. Try just looking him or her dead straight in the eye for 3 seconds, and then walk away. This doesn't invite confrontation, but again, let's the bully know you noticed the behavior, but didn't care enough about it to respond.
Thank you for this post. I will let my kids in on this one. They are pretty good at ignoring bullies but it is very hard.
Thanks for your words of wisdom! I'll keep you updated on the school year.
I've been waiting for this series. Great first post! I really appreciate the view on when you think sarcasm should be used.
OK I agree with this and youhave nailed it right on the head.....vey nicely done...and no, if you just let bullying go, catherine, you are in for a heap of trouble.....
OK I agree with this and youhave nailed it right on the head.....vey nicely done...and no, if you just let bullying go, catherine, you are in for a heap of trouble.....
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