The Tortoise, the Hare, and the Treadmill

It’s been three weeks since I seriously started my “treadmilling”. Things are going slowly, but, as my friend pointed out at a recent breakfast, “You might lose more weight if you changed your eating habits.” This, after she watched in horror as I put sugar and cream in my coffee.

“You’re right,” I sniffed. “I know I would lose weight more quickly if I dieted but I also know it wouldn’t be permanent.” She scoffed. “If I diet and lose weight my body will figure it out, and get even.” She scoffed again. “If I exercise and don’t change the way I eat I’ll lose weight.” She was into major scoffing by now. “I already have.” The scoffing abruptly stopped. She was quiet.

“How long do you think this will take?” she wanted to know.

“Maybe, hmmm, a year.”

“A year?”

“Probably.”

“You’re kidding.”

No, I wasn’t. I heard a story of a man who owned a health club and didn’t understand why people had such a hard time losing weight. He went on his first diet and lost twenty-five pounds. It was easy. No big deal. (You know where this story is going.) He put the weight back on plus five pounds and started having trouble with his weight. After I heard that story I decided I would never diet again.

It’s said that you must walk about 40 miles to lose a pound. As of today I’ve walked just under 90 miles, and I things have definitely toned up and I know I’ve lost a little weight. The main thing is I have stuck with this and honestly enjoyed it. That was my original goal:to stick with it.

Believe me, if I can do this anyone can. How are you doing?

An Elegant Solution for Education

Everybody seems to know what is wrong with education, and every one of these experts can tell you, with absolute assurance that the problem with education is one of the following (in no particular order): rotten teachers, rotten kids, rotten parents, an over-sexed society, politics, entertainment, the media, and let’s not forget, junk food. The public is told that if only these things were changed children would start to learn. If only it were that simple.

“Ockham’s Razor”, named after a fourteenth century English friar, is credited with the stating that the simplest explanation is often the best. Here is one of the unquestioned beliefs, as applied to education, that if test scores go up then education is good. Sadly, a great many people, especially those in the political arena who have the power to control education, have sold American’s on this supposed “truth”. As an educator of thirty years, I can only say that this simple truth is horribly and egregiously wrong. Here is the truth folks, and dear Ockham, no doubt, would agree, when tests scores go up it simply means that students did well on tests. It does not mean that any learning took place, or (heaven forbid) that a student learned to love to learn, or became motivated to learn. There are lots of ways to do well on a test that have nothing to do with learning. I know I am not the only one to see this.

We can assume that children who come from stable homes, have two involved parents, plan on going to college, and have good teachers will probably do better in schools than students who have none of those things. However, that is not always the case as many, so-called advantaged kids fail. The explanations for the students who do well in spite of disadvantages are fascinating and wildly conflicting. No one really knows. They do make for good movies, however. (I remind my students that movies are to make money first and foremost, not to necessarily to enlighten.)

I recently talked with a woman who was retired from thirty years of teaching. She said something that took my breath away because it was so obvious, but I had never questioned it. She said she never for one day felt that the school district valued her as a teacher, and that had she treated her students with the contempt and indifference that she experienced she would have been fired. My mouth dropped. She was right. As one example, teachers are no longer allowed to have students exchange papers to grade them in class (I never did this because kids were too busy seeing what they got on their own papers) because it is traumatic when a student doesn’t do well on a test. Yet, there are schools that post in the teacher’s lounge, or other public places, how teacher’s classes perform on standardized tests. The teachers are to be shamed? Shame may work but it is a despicable way to supposedly motivate people.

I already know who will say, “Well, they should be shamed if their class didn’t do well.” I would say to them, is the doctor shamed if the patient doesn’t heal? No! People would say there are just too many factors that the doctor cannot control. And yet people honestly think that teachers do have that control? Exponentially a teacher is often working with thirty or more students at a time, and each student comes with his or her own backpack full of issues. I can tell you from personal experience having a student whose behavior is sociopathic makes it pretty darn hard to teach. Don’t you think that might affect test scores?

Recently Google was listed as one of the best places to work in the country. They are inundated everyday with thousands of applicants. Why? Google employees talk of the wonderful perks: gourmet food, health clubs, great pay, being able to bring pets to work, flexible hours and top notch health care. Those certainly would be incentives for most people. Yet so many Google employees said that being valued as employees was one of the greatest perks. Mmmmmm.

I would be willing to guess that students who feel valued and respected by their teachers enjoy school, and more than likely learn more from that type of teacher. Does that translate to better test scores? I don’t know, and that isn’t the point of education. The point of education is to learn how to learn. Ideally, it is to learn to love to learn and to take that learning and share it for the greater good of humankind.

Smart school districts, will value and respect their teachers. Even Ockham, I am sure would agree, that treating every school employee with respect would be obvious and (here’s the real surprise) it wouldn’t cost a thing.

Wimbleton Widow

“Ung – uuuumph- uuuuump!” Thwack!

“Argggggggrph!” Thunk!

“Ung – umph- omp!” Thwaa-ack!

“Argggggggrph -phoof!” Thunk!

“AHHHHHHHHH!”

“Ung – uuuumph- ump!” Thwack!

“Ohhhhhhhh!”

“Argggggggrph!” Thunk!

The sounds of Wimbleton will soon reverberate throughout our house.

My name is Liz and I’m a Wimbleton Widow.

Strawberry Maniac

I may OD on strawberries. They are so inexpensive, $1.50 a quart, that I have been eating strawberries in everything, and they are huge strawberries, too. Until the tell-tale red splotches appear on my skin I’m going for it.

I talked to my sister, who lives in Minnesota and she said she tries not to look at the prices when she buys them. There are some things in life you just have to splurge on and strawberries are one of them. I can’t believe I didn’t like them as a child.

By the way, the cantaloupes are wonderful, too. Oh! And the peaches are just perfect. I’m in heaven. The wonderful fruit makes the crushing Arizona summer heat worth it. Remember though; it’s a dry heat.

TREADMILL UPDATE

Okay, I don’t look anything like any of these women. I am the same height as Eva L., who, by the way, is 5’1” tall (or short) but CLAIMS to be 5’2”. I never looked like her, and never will. Sally Field is 5’1” in height and a little older than I am, and you have probably seen her hawking medicine for osteoporosis. I know she suffered from a multitude of eating disorders when she was younger, and chances are they have contributed to her present condition. However, now the woman looks great and I would be happy if my body looked like hers.

Valerie Bertonelli is in my height category, but I never got anywhere near as chubby as she, thank goodness. Cellulite does not discriminate and even former wives of former rock stars succumb. I guess being paid a gazillion dollars to go on TV to sell whatever diet program is motivation enough for her. I just think it makes losing weight all too complicated. (Is Kirsty Allie finished losing weight? Is she happy at that size? If she is, good for her, but who, for goodness sake, picks out her clothes? Not very figure flattering.)

However, I refuse to diet. I have found that if someone says I can’t have a particular goodie then it haunts my dreams. Also, I quit weighing myself over twenty years ago. I did not want to be tied to a number on a scale. I turn around on the scale at the doctor’s office. They are used to it by now.

I don’t diet because yes, one does lose weight when one diets except that your body gets used to less food and if you try to eat “normally” those pesky pounds, which have missed you so much, come right back usually on the butt. The diet industry wants to continue sucking money out of people when 95% of them put the weight back on, and then some. (Check the statistics yourself.) Even Valerie’s diet company admits to that when pressed.

So, how is walking on the treadmill going? Fantastically. Since I am not a television watcher I decided I would order the shows from NetFlix and watch them as I walked. I have a headphone set and I bought an extension cord from Radio Shack so that no one else is bothered by the many episodes of “Desperate Housewives” I view. I walk when I feel like it. This has been so easy. Yes, I look forward to the walking. I have a little calendar and, as of today, I am walking an average of 3.46 miles per day.

So, I know this way will take longer, but I’m okay with that. Honestly, at my age I want to be healthy and I’m letting my body decide what is a healthy size for me.

Here is my plan. I want to keep this up, and I believe I can. Let me know how you are doing. Pass it on.

A Story with a Sad, But Not Surprising Ending

This coming fall I will start my thirtieth year of teaching. Yes, yes, it’s corny but I really do love it. However, I spent way too many years feeling bad about students with I whom I couldn’t connect. Time, being the great clonk-on-the-head factor says that the more you try to connect with a student the more you drive them away. That was the case with Winston (not his real name). I found out that no one connected with him.

If you have ever read any of Barbara Robinson’s hilarious books about the Herdman’s, who were “the worst kids in the history of the world,” then you would know about Winston. He was, without a doubt, the worst kid I ever had; truly a child without a conscience. I have since learned that he is more than likely, a sociopath. I will, gentle readers, spare you the details of all the unbelievably awful things he did, but I was ready to quit teaching because of him. It is ironic that one of the other students in that same class went on to be her class valedictorian and had many offers of full college scholarships. She, on the other hand, probably will never know that she kept me from quitting.

That spring that Winston was in my 6th grade class I called his father to report one of the latest of his horrendous behaviors (and no, the administrator at that school prided herself on NEVER suspending a child no matter how bad the behavior or district guidelines). The father immediately turned vicious. I was taken back as I had never had that happen before. (My earlier complaining, as an example, of his taking Winston to R rated movies which he graphically shared with classmates was greeted with a don’t-be-so-uptight reaction from the dad.) This time the dad personally attacked me, then threatened me. I reminded him that it was against the law to threaten a teacher. He screamed at me, “I’m not threatening you but if you ever ….” and so on and so on. Then I did something that I’m not proud of. I said, “Well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I definitely went to his level. Interestingly, Winston’s dad owned a collection agency. He probably thought he was talking to me normally. Geesh!

Two weeks ago I saw that Winston’s dad died. I have removed all identifying information. He was in his early 40’s. This is his obituary:



*****, passed away after a brave battle with colon cancer. ***** was born in ***** and he was raised in Arizona. He had a strong will and he lived his life on his own terms. He was the epitome of an entrepreneur-always dreaming up and developing new business opportunities and ventures. He was his father's son. Although he worked hard, ***** knew how to have fun too. He loved playing poker-Texas Hold 'Em in particular. Many a weekend he would invite friends over for a night of card-playing fun. Ask any of his friends and family and they would tell you how much he touched their lives and what a generous man he was. ***** is preceded in death by his father and sister, He is survived by his son, ********, mother and sisters. (We cannot go without mentioning his special Aunt, who gave of her time, her love and her support to *****and the rest of his family during this difficult journey. We will miss you **** boy.

I take no delight in his passing. His end was miserable. As I stated in an earlier blog about planning your own funeral I would also advise people to write their own obituaries, because I would not consider this one as praiseworthy.

I wonder what will happen to Winston now. I still have no idea what I could have done to help him, and now, even though his dad was a jerk, Winston has no father.

Breaking the Myth of Sarcasm; It's Not a Joke Anymore!

I realized that I needed to expand on my profile comment about giving up sarcasm, as I am sure you have noticed some sarcastic comments in my blogs. Let me explain.

Several years ago I developed a goal-setting program for my students. It was successful beyond anything I could have hoped for. It was an absolute magical year and I felt that I could teach forever. I have been teaching this particular program for three years and I am, in fact, even more enthused. The program has grown and I have even taught it to adults through some very prestigious organizations. It has truly changed many lives for the better.

When I first started the program there were glitches, of course. The problem was sarcasm. Sixth grader’s sarcasm is usually very clumsy. It is pretty much not even up to the level of slap-stick comedy. It is pathetic. One girl, Leeta, was a master of rapier-like sarcasm, never to me, however. Students are rarely rude to me (exception being Samuel, off meds, in the Diva/Victim/Bully blog below.) Leeta could rip the other kids to pieces and they never knew what hit them. Leeta was the black-belt of 6th grade sarcasm. I would find a glob of gelatinous goo on the floor, which had been a student at one time, and knew that Leeta struck again. That kind of sarcasm took practice.

I invited Leeta’s mother in for a conference. I asked her if Leeta and her brother were sarcastic with one another. “Ayeeee!” was her answer.

“I take that to mean ‘yes’?” Leeta and her brother were vicious to one another and the mother was desperate for help.

I came up with a plan and I have eliminated most sarcasm from my life. How? Why are people sarcastic? They say, and this is the biggest bunch of horse sh**t to ever come down the pike; “I was just joking.” No they weren’t. No, they aren’t. Don’t ever, ever, ever believe that again. It is a lie. I challenge you to challenge anyone who ever says that to you again.

Sarcasm has three components.
(1.) - to make the person being sarcastic feel superior.
(2.) – to make the person being sarcastic feel right.
(3.) – to enable the person being sarcastic to inflict pain.

Whenever anyone uses the “I was only joking” excuse we put it to the test. Are they trying to feel superior? Are they bullying to be right? Do they wish to hurt the other person? A yes to any one of these is not acceptable and the person is being sarcastic. Period.

Here’s the big question though, is it ever acceptable to be sarcastic? Yes! Absolutely! Egotistical overblown celebrities deserve sarcasm. Britney Spears was a great source of sarcasm for my class this year. She was a poster person for my class. They now know what sycophant’s are. They know now that money does not buy happiness or good sense or good taste (good haircut? Mother of the year? etc.) Britney Spears is a public figure, and yes, yes, yes, she is to be pitied, too. I don’t feel bad about being sarcastic toward her.

Here in Arizona we are always being sarcastic about the heat. Yes, 115 degrees is hot. How hot was it? You know the bit. When I lived in North Dakota we would be sarcastic about the cold. You can be sarcastic about political figures, too. That is part of being a celebrity.

But, as a teacher, sarcasm is never to be used against a student. I was guilty of that, and I am not proud. I can only pray for forgiveness for that. I can now expect others not to be sarcastic with me if they are trying to act superior, right or hurtful. That, by any other name is bullying, and that should never be accepted.

A Happy Boy

This past Thursday Gary and I went the Phoenix Art Museum to see the exhibit called “Curves of Steele” which was an exhibit of cars which were famous for being the best examples of streamlined automobiles from the 1930’s to 1990’s. The pictures above are not from the exhibit but rather there were two cars that were models similar to these.

As Gary looked at the Ferrari, restored to perfection, he whispered, “It’s like a piece of sculpture.” He drank it in.

Gary has an encyclopedic knowledge of these, and most of the cars in the exhibit. One elderly lady eavesdropped as he told me about the electric blue McClaren. It was wonderful to hear these stories from him. He was just beside himself, and awestruck to see these cars. I bought him the companion book as an early Father’s Day Present, and that made him a very happy boy.

It was a delightful time, and reminds me of why I have loved this man for 40 years.

BIG SECRET - Not for Fitness Purists

Do not forward this blog to any of your friends who are really into fitness and exercise because it will cause them to faint, or just explode with frustration at those of us who are not exercising correctly (which is a felony in some states, I understand.)

A number of years I ago I got up before sunrise and went walking. The weight almost magically came off. It was fun and I listened to a great many books on cd (shameless plug for Audible.com.) The problem was – big surprise - once school started up again I didn’t keep it up.

Next, when summer started I got a bottom of the line treadmill, and watched movies as I walked away. Those pesky pounds dropped off, school started and I didn’t keep up the walking. I was too tired. I didn’t want more work!

I teach with a number of women who are hardcore exercisers. They go to the gym faithfully. They are toned. Some, shame, shame, are even tan (which is NOT a cool thing to do here in our skin cancer state.) I want to hit them, but I haven’t the strength. I needed a different strategy. I needed something that worked.

Brilliant idea. How would you exercise if you could exercise the way you wanted to? What if you never heard, or never believed Jane Fonda’s “No pain. No gain.” Easy answer; it would be fun and no work. That’s how little kids exercise. That’s how I stayed skinny as a little kid.

Here is my plan, and you can do this too, as long as you promise to keep it secret. If word gets out it would ruin the “Health Club” economy. Oh, darn.

I renewed my Netflix membership and plan to watch the TV shows that I never have watched because I am too wiggly to sit and watch TV. (No, I can’t watch and do something that is even slightly left brianed, either. I can’t multi-task.) I am currently treading, literally, through “Desperate Housewives”, but here is my secret; I slowly walk a mile. Go do other stuff. Come back. Slowly walk another mile. Go do other stuff. Slowly walk another mile. Ect., ect.

Guess what? I am not sore. I am not exhausted. Yes, I know the purists will say that won’t do any good. I believe that’s a HUGE part of the exercise problem. I am sure there are a lot of people who have bought into the purists theories and believe that since they can’t exercise properly they won’t bother. What if that isn’t true? What’s the worst that can happen? I will be getting exercise and having fun and therefore I’ll keep it up. Is that so bad? Don’t know. I’ll keep you posted.