I'M READY - GET OUT OF MY WAY!

This past October I spent my fall break in an absolute frenzy of pitching and tossing at my folks house. It was not as bad as the Collyer brothers, two legendary pack rats, but it was getting close. My mom and step-dad only had about 20 years to fill up their house, so they were decades behind the Collyer siblings. Mom, prone to compulsive shopping, married a man who she knew to be a chronic collector. Not a good combination.

Don Aslett was the first to write about de-cluttering and his advice was simple; throw practically everything out, and don't buy anything you don't need. Brilliant? Yes. Easy to do? No. It is easy to do that with other people's stuff, like my mom's and step-dad. After that weekend I was ready to toss and that was where the problem started. I knew I could not do that to my own kids.

In de-cluttering one has to have a plan so that things go back to a logical place in order to retrieve things easily. (The rule of thumb is being able to locate something in under five minutes ... some even say a minute. Yikes!) Place number one to clean was the large hall storage area. Place number two the large walk-in pantry. The third place is the garage and the last, the two-story barn. Admittedly, half the garage and half the barn was old school stuff of mine. I came to the realization that even in these hard economic times most everything was useless. When my dear departed mother-in-law was moving out of her Arizona home, and was (we did not know it at the time but the signs were there) in the early stages of Alzheimer's, could not bear to throw anything out. She would give those things to me to carry to places such as the Goodwill and the old ladies at church. I did not have the time or energy to deliver an old bag of disgusting old shoes or tiny scraps of project materials, for example, to anyone so I threw them out. I did not tell that to my mother-in-law, however.

The next step, and I would think this would be obvious; one has to remove the stuff from whatever place is to be cleaned and go through it. THIS INVOLVES SPREADING IT OUT. The de-cluttering shows on TV do that as standard operating procedure, and I think that for MDH (my dear husband) he probably understood that on some deep level, but his memory is long and my reputation is bad on this account. I would spread it out. That's it. I would get it out and become totally paralyzed, leaving the back porch and an unused bedroom in chaos for years. Yes, years. So when MDH saw stuff from the hall closet spread out in the foyer (and believe me the contents of that hall closet were almost all his famous cleaning up method: putting it in a box and shoving it in a closet. When he saw the contents of the closet spread out he wanted to know (what he felt was a reasonable question) when it would be put away? He even offered to help. (Translate that!) To put it mildly he touched a very raw nerve; a root-canal-ish raw, tender nerve. I did what any reasonable, level-headed person would do; I blew a gasket.

We are on speaking terms again, but I now know that I must find another way to do this cleaning and that is the Neil Armstrong method of one small step for man (or woman) kind. And, taking a page from our president-elect, it must be done in a no-drama way. It must done a little at a time.

So, sadly, I was not able to clean up as planned, but being that angry takes a lot out of a person, and I would like to never have to go there again. (My dear old mother, who has this infuriating way of being wise far beyond wise, says that we only get mad when we are wrong. I don't think that is always true, but it is true often enough.) So, I must accept that the clean-up will take longer than I had hoped. Unlike most people we have the space and that is a problem in itself, but I will keep you posted, and for the time being the hall closet did get cleaned, but the boxes and boxes of photos will still have to be sorted. Those will not be tossed.

In the meantime, the garbage cans are full.

Guess What's the Biggest Road block to Cleaning Up?

My husband.

Sixteen Days: DAY 1 of the Great Clean Up

Our school district had originally planned for the teachers to come back on Monday, December 23rd as a work day! Rumor was that the vast majority of teachers would mysteriously be too ill to come in that day. Needless to say, the school board members had an attack of common sense (very rare indeed!) and scrapped that idea. This is the first Christmas Holiday in years where we actually have two FULL weeks off, and that translates into three full weekends: sixteen days off. I have plans!


We have a barn which is guarded by Nora, the cat. (I inherited Nora from my daughter and she loves living in the barn by herself. She doesn't know she is a cat.) I am not exaggerating about Nora 's job. No stray cat would dare come into her domain. Unfortunealetly, our barn has become the receptical of all sorts of old junk. Unlike the rest of country, there are few houses here that have basements and attics, which is where most people send old junk that they plan to sort through someday. I don't plan on doing much sorting. Is that old crappy stuff going to suddenly become collectible, a la' "Cash in the Attic"? I seriouly doubt it. Remember that great line from "The Sound of Music" where the nuns try to give Maria's dress to the poor and poor don't want it. There is nothing out there that anyone would want. If I do find anything worthwhile I promise to take it Goodwill. Having spent my October break cleaning out my folks junk , I would never do that to my own kids. My plan is to throw out everything! Sorting is not even an option.


I also plan on cleaning out the pantry and my junk out of the garage, too. I figured that if I put my intentions out in public I would have to be accountable for my progress. Also though, I am tired of stuff, and lord, I DO NOT want to have to feed and care for, no, actually we have neglected all this junk. There will never be the right time to sort through it.

I will post my progress. This is the best Christmas present I have ever given Gary .... or myself.

Wish me luck!

Parents Who Bully Teachers

(This is Part II of "Parents as Bullies".)



I reported the bully parent to the police because she put my students in danger and frightened them. That was more than crossing the line. The bully parent apparently does not think it was a big deal but my district does (now) and has restricted her movements on campus. She must check into the office (as all parents are required to do) but may not go to any classroom without authorization. I have banned her from my classroom. She still may attend any public functions at the school, but she is on notice that if she decides to push the issues she will banned from the campus permanently.


Also, the district has said that I do not have answer or address any of the issues that are outside the realm of her son's IEP (individual Educational Program as mandated by the government) since we have consistently gone above and beyond for issues of his IEP. This should put an end to the barrage of daily emails and notes.


The bottom line is that this bully parent still does not get it. Undoubtedly she will push some other issue but her credibility is gone. She acknowledged she was extremely angry when she barged into my classroom and was in a rage over something she considered a slight. Originally, I had volunteered to do something on a daily basis for her son which was NOT a part of his IEP. It had not been done the day of her rage because it was raining and I was required to let my students in 25 minutes earlier than usual and I had overlooked it. She took it as a personal affront. What can I say? She was consumed with righteous indignation over something that was being done as a personal favor to her. There is no dealing with people who feel that sense of entitlement. That is pretty much a hallmark of a bully parent.


I still do not know if the police will charge her. She could be charged with a felony. If she is, she could lose her state license in her profession. I saw on line that she has already had complaints filed against her and she has only been in the state less than two years. We had a close family member who was in the same profession for forty years and never had a single complaint.


For any teachers reading this, parents who are bullies cannot be placated. One seemingly harmless, but unreasonable request leads to another and another. The bully parent feeds on the power of making you comply with her wishes. I knew this immediately but was told to go along. It was only a matter of time before this came to a head.


My principal and district have backed me fully, but they did not do so immediately. I made it clear that I was reporting the incident to the police whether they liked it or not. As the incident and the history of the mother's bizarre behavior came to light things changed, and they came around. I feel vindicated now but it was not easy.

Parents as Bullies, Part I

The day before Thanksgiving I had a parent come into my classroom and put my students and me in danger. In fact, according to Arizona state Law, she committed a crime. My students knew something bad was happening and I had seconds, literally, to decide how to react. Most of the kids scattered out of her way knowing the mom has, and will continue to harass anyone who she believes has not complied with her endless demands of entitlement for her challenged child, the poor kid. I chose to not react, thinking that remaining calm would send a message to the students and defuse the parent's furious anger. The mother left, triumphant. SHE had shown me. I acted like nothing happened.


The children in my class are, in fact, very good and kind to this boy and are actually protective of him. They include him in play, even though it is like having a demanding five-year-old involved. This boy really does not know better, but has shown enormous improvement academically and socially. This is the best group of students I have ever had and the only problem I have had was one with this challenged boy. Actually, the problem was with another teacher but I was left holding the “discipline bag”, so to speak. That was where the problems started with mom.



In mainstreaming this boy, his IEP (Individual Educational Plan which is a federal mandate for all special education students) states that if the child breaks school rules the consequences will be the same as other children, that is, detention. Mom disagreed to the point of verbally attacking me and, her usual threat, of calling her lawyer. Deciding that this was not worth the fight I said we would handle it the way she wanted. Her decision? To have him go to detention, which he never actually served. This was where the abuse towards me started.


To make a long story short, an endless stream of demands that were far outside his IEP began, and abusive and accusatory emails began, including things she made up. I was told that nothing really could be done, and to please put up with these things. I agreed as I thought it best for the child. Things escalated until the day before Thanksgiving.



I will spare you the details of the incident, but because no one ended up being physically injured the reaction was, “How can it be abuse if no one was physically harmed?” According to state law the INTENT was there which makes it a crime and since it took place in a classroom, a felony.



This past week there was an episode of Dr. Phil where parents told stories of teachers bullying students. I know that things like that happen. We all do, and it must stop. Interestingly, I was only able to Google two articles that addressed parents bullying teachers. (I guess this will be the third.) Where this woman crossed the line was the danger that she put my students in. I can't even imagine HER reaction had another parent behaved as she did.



In talking with others about this, almost all the teachers I know have been bullied by parents. My sister, who teaches in an expensive private school, says that bullying parents are not that unusual (parents who put teachers and students in physical danger are something that has not happened at her school. Her school seems to believe that isn't abuse, either.) Most teachers tell me that they comply with the demands of bullying parents. I have had only one other parent in 31 years who was a bully (he owned a collection agency so I chalked that up to the normal way he talked with everyone.)



Here is my question to my readers (not to you who DO know the details), what do you think of this? How would you react as a teacher? As a parent? What should be the consequences? I surely do not want to advocate a victim mentality here, but I have a feeling that what took place in my classroom, that is, endangering and reckless behavior, is not that unusual.



What do you think? Please let me know.

The Sad and Untimely Passing of Mabel the Beagle

Below is the email I sent to my blogfriend, Neva. Neva and I have never met in person but her care and support has been unconditional. Here are the emails we exchanged, I put them in the order from first to last:

Our dear Mabel was put to sleep an hour ago; less than 6 hours after this ordeal began and yesteday she apperaed to be fine.C.H. and I took her to the emrgency vet clinic immediately. At first she thought it was pancreatitis, and we left Mabel there to be x-rayed and for them to do blood work. The doctor did not know what was wrong with her at first but after x-rays suspected a tumor on her spleen. She wanted to do surgery to find out if the tumor was benign or malignant. In the meantime we would have to bring her home and wait a week for the results and chances that it was malignant were very high. None of the options were good for Mabel. We called back and forth trying to decide what to do. The doctor was very honest in her statistics and all was very bad. I said I would make the decision to put her to sleep. The surgery would just put her in more pain. When I called the doctor back the first thing she said was, "You've made the right decision." When C.H. and I went back to be with her, her condition had worsened. She was hemorrhaging badly, which meant that surgery would NOT have been the answer. The doctor said that probably what happened this morning was that she started to hemorrhage, then that initial hemorrhaging relieved her some what, then when it started again it became apparent that she would not make it. It is unbelievable that all this started at 6:15 this morning. I said dear, perfect Mabel deserved dignity.

Only another dog lover would undertsand.

From Neva:

OH Liz.....I am sooo so sorry.....it sounds like the right thing to do for Mabel....but how hard was that?? It is so hard to make a decision when you value your pet and I know when Mason died ( in our kitchen I might add) it was not a pretty picture and lacking in dignity as well...not to mention how ill he must have felt......If you need to talk ...I am here......hugs your way....Love neva

To Neva:

Thank you so much for the comforting words. The doctor had said of one of the possible (bad, and they were all bad) outcomes was that she might have another 4 - 6 weeks. Another dog to die around Christmas? No.


The unbelievable thing was that it all happened so fast. When we got to the vet's offcie to put Mabel to sleep she was dying at that point. Neither C.H. or Gary wanted to say "put her to sleep" and I knew somebody had to say it. Here is another thing, it truly wasn't the money either. I thought if money were absolutely no object what would I do, and yes, it was a good chunk, but we dog lovers know that we will do whatever needs to be done for our pets. That's part of having a pet. It's the bargain we strike with out pets, even though they never actually signed on. It is the unwavering trust they put in us. The bottom line was that no one wanted Mabel to suffer needlessly and putting a sick dog through surgery wouldn't have been for her, it would have only been to relieve our own guilt.

My Students Eye-Witness to Historic Election

Our school's library is a voting place. There is only one class room between the parking lot and the library and that is my class room. My students probably won't even be able to use our door due to the expected crowds. Talk about visual aids! Even though they will not be voting I know the most powerful lesson will be seeing the thousands of people lined up outside their 6th grade class room to vote.

I can hardly wait.

A Puzzling Parent/Teacher Conference

Below is part of an email I sent my daughter. The child in the following email is new to our school. He has a large blended family and a step - sibling in 6th grade, whom he has never lived with. These children are not allowed to play together because my student, "Justin" (not his real name) has been a bully and too rough. Justin's mother has been mad at our school because the study team denied her request for granting a 504 plan to her child who has an insulin pump.



"My conferences went very well. The only sad thing was the conference of Justin, the diabetic boy, who had been such a pill since the first of the year. I had advised his mother at the beginning of the year that he needed to change his attitude, and miraculously he did a 180 degree turn around especially since he has learned to love reading. I had emailed the mom about three weeks ago to tell her that Justin's attitude and academics were improving enormously. You remember that I always ask the kids to come along with their parents to the conference. She told me he was scared to come! I told her that was surprising as I had told him that it was going to be a very good conference. At the conference I told the mom that in all my years of teaching I had never seen a child's attitude toward school change so much. Here's what is so weird, and I do not know what to make of it, she didn't react at all. Her indifference was deafening. This is the same woman who was willing to do (and I hate this term, too) whatever it takes to see that her son get his 504 plan. I told her too, that since the attitude change his diabetes was much more under control. Her supposed great interest in her child's health absolutely was not there. It was cold, cold, cold; like an over-the-top character from a Mary Higgins Clark novel, but this was real. "



Why would this mother not be happy for her child?

My First Deleted Post

I wrote a post that was supposed to be a vent, but it was close to being mean-spirited. Not horrible or vicious just whiny and self-pitying.

Have you ever written a post and then deleted it? My deleted post is probably somewhere out in cyber-world. We all know that whatever goes into cyber world is there forever. Would I suffer great shame because of it? Probably not, but as my dear old mother used to say, "Don't ever put in writing anything you don't want the whole world to see." That was long before the blogs. How very wise. I really didn't want the whole world to see that post.

You read it here first.

Last winter when the sub-prime mess started its domino-like collapse I suggested maybe something good would come out of this mess. This last week we saw the financial markets implode, too. Am I still willing to say something good will come out of this? You betcha!


Maybe, just maybe all those folks who wanted to be wealthy and are now out of a job might think about going into teaching (or any of the helping professions, for that matter.) When I went to college in the 1960’s, yes I AM that old; women went into teaching, nursing or business. The ones with business degrees became secretaries and were often more educated than their bosses. I went into teaching because I came from a family of teachers, actually from generations of teachers going all the way back to Prudence Crandall, one of America’s most famous educators.

We were often told in our education classes that “You don’t go into education for the money.” Now I would guess professors could tell their students, “You can go into teaching because they will always need teachers.” It could be that there might even be a teacher glut, as happened when I graduated in 1970. Also, here in Arizona we were told, jokingly (or not), that we were paid in sunshine. Actually, we were paid far below the national average. The districts in the teacher glut days were in the position of the business, financial and computing worlds of the last couple of decades, of being able to pick the best of the best and for a few years, being a teacher was a job of respect.


Maybe this is coming full circle. Now (most teachers my age have taken early retirement) age is actually on my side and I get the respect that older folks used to get. My students and parents know that I am teaching because I want to, not because I have to.


Young people entering college, and perhaps those who have lost their jobs in the business, financial and computing worlds, will decide that teaching is a secure job. Yes, my job is secure, but, and I know I keep saying this, it is a job where the perks never show up in the paycheck.


Yesterday, my husband and I went to Subway where a former student who was working there called out to me. I asked her if she was going to college, because I have always pushed higher education. “You said I had to! Remember? And boy, you were right!” Sweet words. Maybe she’ll decide to teach.

Planning Time (or Previous Blog, Part II)

Here are some updates, of sorts, from the previous blog:


We are finding out that most schools in our district have a supervised recess time, usually 3 to 5 times a week. Our principal says that the teachers complained they needed blocks of time to teach and were given that. I think that there was some miscommunication. No one knew they were giving up our 3 time a week recess. On Tuesday and Thursday we have no break after P.E., which is first thing in the morning. We then go 3 1/2 hours straight until lunch. It's a long haul.

Junior high and high school teachers get the 1/2 before and after school prep time, plus a full 50 minute period EVERY day. Our 30 minute specials are really 20 minutes because we, of course, have to walk our kids back and forth. Also, we lose an additional 30 minutes prep time per week due to duty schedule.

I knew when I started teaching, in 1970, that it wasn't easy, but the paper work has become enormous and absolutely everything MUST be documented. I have an Autistic child in my class which means he has a 504 aid with him. She, however, is not my classroom aid. She is entitled - by state law - to a 15 minute break every day. She does not have to go with him to specials. Why am I not entitled to that same break? Oh yes, teachers don't go to the bathroom.

I know there are many of teachers who are strictly from the book and never create any of their own materials. I can't do that, so I suppose I could get back a lot of time that way, but the students and I would be catatonic. The results from tailoring the material make it worth it to me.

Would I go into teaching today? I truly do love what I do. It is so enormously gratifying. I do feel I make a difference. The public doesn't respect teaching because so many teachers don't respect themselves or value what they do. Yes, I would still teach. It is my calling.

ATTENTION ALL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHERS!

Here are my questions:
(1.) What are your specials (P.E., Music, Art and Media Center/Library) and how often do you have them?
(2.) Do your students have a recess? (Not including lunch recess.)
(3.) Is it a daily recess?
(4.) Morning or afternoon, (gulp?) both?
(5.) Does an aid supervise or do you supervise your own students?
(6.) How much planning time do you get per day/week?
(7.) Are there days when you you get no am or pm breaks?
(8.) Do you have a computer lab?
(9.) Do you have a full time person to run the computer lab?

Here are my answers to the above questions:
(1.) P.E. - one half hour, twice a week
Music, one half hour, once a week
Art, one hour, every other week but on Monday so we lose quite a number to Monday holidays.
Media Center/Library, one half hour, once a week
(2.) One 15 minute recess every other week on the Monday we don't have Art.
(3.) No daily recess.
(4.) Neither
(5.) No recess
(6.) Planning time: 30 minutes before and after school, and the days we have specials. A total of 7 1/2 per week. (These include the times for specials.)
(7.) The Mondays we don't have Art we have no breaks from 7:50 -12:05.
(8.) We have a computer lab.
(9.) We have no one to help in the computer lab.

Please let me know. If I just put in that time I would never get anything done. As with most teachers I come in very early and stay very late and more often than not work on weekends. That is the way it has always been. However, we used to have a 15 minute supervised recess everyday and it was necessary for both the teachers and the kids. Now that is gone. Maybe we were just terribly spoiled.
P.S. For those of you who say to quit my bitching because I ONLY work 9 months of the year, I would remind you that I don't work a 40 hour week. It is, as with most teachers, at least 60, and we now work 10 months. By the way, I spent 2 weeks of my summer vacation taking classes that were required for my certification. I did not get paid for them, either. The best part of the job is, of course, the kids. There are few jobs that have that benefit.

A Sad Day for Public Schools

One of the teachers at our school came in to talk with me. She commented about a list of words I had on the board. I explained it was one of our language lessons where the class had brainstormed about words that were trite, words like cute, nice, awesome were among the most obvious. We filled up the board and the kids came up words that were insightful and clever, for example, the sarcastic, "What?What?", always said in a sneering manner. They understood that it had become overused and meaningless. The journal entry for the next day was for the students to listen for people using trite words. Lastly, the kids used their thesauruses to look up words to replace their favorite trite words. The lessons, quite obviously, were about raising their awareness of trite words and how they do little to foster written and spoken communication. The kids got it and were genuinely surprised at how often we use trite words. The teacher continued to look at the board and finally said, "What does that mean? What does trite mean?" This woman is probably in her thirties and was more than likely taught by teachers who didn't know how to write. Teachers who didn't have a love of language and its nuances. I can't blame her, but I can honestly say that for just a second I thought she was joking, but no, she didn't know what trite meant. It makes criticism of public schools valid. It also made me feel immensely sad.

Husband at IKEA - Not as Whiny as Usual

I think for every ten trips to Home Depot there should be at least one trip to IKEA. Right now the Gary owes me 257 trips to IKEA. Okay, a slight exaggeration.


Gary hates IKEA. He doesn't like their style of furniture, or, in fact their style of anything. After several trips to promising places, even William Sonoma, we haven't had any luck finding a stainless steel dish drainer to go in the sink, a stainless steel electric can opener (under the cabinet-type), or stainless steel paper -towel holder to replace the pathetic plastic one (and the only type available eons ago) under the cabinets. We finally decided to try IKEA. No luck. We did find a stainless steel tea-pot, and two pillow shams, but nothing else. I am getting close to not caring. I will have to do more Internet searching.


Nevertheless, Gary griped through the entire store, but he didn't gripe as much as usual and he didn't complain that any part of his body hurt. That practically made the trip a success. We have become the older couple when we go out. At least we still talk when we go out to eat.


The problem is there has to be some equity. Gary needs to learn to not be so whiny when we go to my stores, and I will continue to be my cheerful self when we trek over to Home Depot.

Happy First Day of Kindergarten, Tom

Dear Thomas,

I wish I could be there for your first day of Kindergarten. I know you will do wonderfully and make lots of new friends (as you always do.) This is a new chapter in your young life and a new chapter for all of us. You are my first grandchild in Kindergarten. The time will fly. Have fun and learn to love to learn.

I love you and am so proud of you,
Love,
Nana Lizzie

Bullying, the Series, Part I - Sarcasm

Most people think they know bullying. They don’t. Movies and television have made the stereotypical bully a literal character. Think Eddie Haskell of “Leave It To Beaver.” The truth is bullies know how to fly below the radar. I will show you how to spot bullies. The following applies to elementary schools through college and to ANY workplace or home environment on planet earth. You might even be a bully and not be aware that you speak “Bullyease”.


Sarcasm

Bullies are sarcastic towards people. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for sarcasm, but not towards others, and especially never toward children.

A favorite expression of bullies is:
“I was just kidding,”

or, it’s evil twin;

“Can’t you take a joke?”

When people use those pathetic excuses, vacate the premises. Sarcasm, such as the joking or kidding variety contains one or all of these four intentions:

-to be hurtful
-to feel superior
-to be right and therefore make someone else wrong
and
to humiliate.

Next time someone says to you “I was just kidding,” or “Can’t you take a joke?” look them in the eye and ask, “What exactly is your intention?” because I can bet it will be one of the above reasons. Bullies sputter and bluster and immediately try to put you on the defensive, which is one the very favorite weapons in bullyworld. You can then say, “That’s what I thought.”

Yes, there is a time and a place for sarcasm; the weather, egotistical public figures, the economy, politics, greedy companies that exploit for profit, are all fair targets for sarcasm. However, too often sarcasm is a pathetic replacement for wit and humor. The vast majority of the time sarcasm is mean-spiritedness in a sorry clown costume.

The mean-spirited, humiliating, righteously indignant and hurtful sarcasm has been banned from my classroom and home for years. I haven’t missed it.

Sheesh! What about Free Speech?

Word came down in our district that we can't blog because the news media combs the district email and blogs to find good stories. They certainly have the right to look at any of my district emails as that is all public information. Our district has industrial-strength firewalls so that I couldn't look at THIS blog at school if I wanted to. They even block ALL the graphics on Wikipedia. (However, they haven't managed to keep the pesky pornographic emails from coming in. I have to make sure there are no students around when I open my email as the latest ads for "enhancements" are there for all to see.) The district can't prevent us from blogging. Surely they know that. Our district doesn't seem to understand that we may write what we please in our blogs, but we certainly must be mindful no to slander, libel or plagiarize. Is there really anyone who doesn't understand that? Evidently not.



I haven't written anything in my blog that I would be embarrassed to have any one of my students see. If I have written about a student I have changed his/her name. My dear old mother always said, "Don't put anything down in writing you don't want the whole world to see." She said that decades ago, long before there was an inkling of a world wide web.



If anyone from any news outlet should happen to stumble upon my little blog and find a good story, please share it with the world, and yes, my district should most certainly keep their noses out of my blog and stick it .... whoops. (That was not going to be a child-friendly comment. ) It sounds like some tech people have entirely too much time on their hands.

Is this a coincidence?

My sixth grade girls cover their notebooks with Tinkerbell stickers. They love Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell paraphernalia is on back-backs, t-shirts and purses. This past year I noticed that Tinkerbell was bearing an uncanny resemblance to the pin -up art of Alberto Vargas. Yuck! Do you think the Disney merchandisers saw that, too? You bet they did. I think that is really creepy.


What do you think?

Happy Birthday, Alexandra!

Thirty-one years ago, on 7/6/77 our beautiful baby girl came into our family. Happy Birthday!

Bullying, the Series. Coming to this Blog.

As the school year gets underway there will be the usual stories in the news about the problems of bullying at school. There will be quotes from experts (who are always eminent) and lists of things that your child can do to deal with bullies and very little of it will be worth while. I have a different approach. Has it erased bullying in my classroom? No, not completely, but I can promise some new insights that will help both you and your child.

Here is your first lesson:

- think back to times you have been bullied and how you handled it.

- think back to times you were the bully and why you bullied someone ( bullying siblings counts) and yes, I think everyone has experienced both. Why? Here's something to think about - because bullying works and being bullied works, too.

What I learned at the dump

I know, I know. Dump is not a politically correct name, land fill is the pc word, but it is also the recycling center. I actually learned some tidbits that I thought I would pass on to the blog world, as there is so much green-consciousness going on.

THINGS YOU CAN'T RECYCLE THAT YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT YOU COULD:

- plastic grocery bags - I know you are encouraged to turn them in at the grocery store but we learned they can't be recycled. What do they do with them?

- yogurt cups - they are considered contaminated with food, and can't be cleaned.

- pet food bags - same as with yogurt cups.

-paper towels - same as with yogurt cups and pet food bags.

SOME OF THE THINGS YOU CAN RECYCLE:

- anything with a screw cap - just make sure it is rinsed out.

THE GUILT TRIP:

- there are people who hand sort through all the recycling that goes by on a conveyor belt to remove anything things that can't be recycled. Makes you think carefully about what goes into the recycling, doesn't it?

I DID IT!!!!!

After years of fruit less (and hairy) effort, after years of trying to follow directions that were complicated enough for a nuclear scientist, after feeling klutzy and incompetent I was finally able to put my hair in a French Twist. Ta da!

Ah, you may think that is a pitiful accomplishmnet unless you have tried it yourself. It didn't look perfect but it was a recognizable French Twist, and I am shamelessly proud of myself.

“You will not die …

…of embarrassment,” I assured my squirming six graders as I passed out permission slips for the G&D program. That’s “Growth and Development” or, as we used to say back in the day, “The Birds and the Bees.”

My sweetest little girl, Annie, came to me took a deep breath and said, “I might be the first.”

I am happy to say she lived through the experience.

By the way, sixth graders are still babies. They like hugs and bringing in treats for the class on their birthdays. They may see more on the movies and television than we ever did but they don’t, I can promise you, know anymore than the rest of us did long, long ago. I think it is always a healthy sign that it makes them blush.

THE ETHICS OF KID LOGIC

My sixth graders were asking me what kind of games I played when I was a kid. I told them that we played a lot of board games.

“Like what?” astounded there would be such a coincidence as that.

“Well, I guess you could say I played Monopoly with my older sister, Bonnie.”

“You guessed you played? What do you mean?” That was a murky answer.

“My sister was a notorious cheater.”

“She was?”

“Oh, terrible! She would, for instance, claim that she could collect $400 when she passed ‘GO’ because she was older.”

Then Keegan (not his real name) said one of those gems that only kids can come up with: “At least if you’re gonna cheat you should be fair about it.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Hooray! Hooray! and Hooray!

Our “graduation” ceremony was a spectacular success. The audience was respectful. Our principal advised them that this was “not a sporting event or popularity contest” and shouting or whooping would not be appropriate. Most of the kids dressed up and they usually don’t act so goony if they are dressed nicely. It does set a tone.


There were only a couple of parents who brought flowers, gifts or balloons. My students commented to me, as we waited to file in, “They weren’t supposed bring those, were they?” I didn’t have to answer as one student said, “Those aren’t our parents.”


It was a lovely ceremony, and yes, under these circumstances I would do it again. As Joy pointed out it should have been common sense, but it wasn't, and for those people who lack that lovely gene, at least they listened (or listened to their children) and that is all around amazing.


P.S. Instead of being well over 100 degrees as it usually is at this time of the year, it is currently 59 degrees and raining. This is a first after 38 years in Arizona.

Can we avert another disastrous graduation?

Last year our sixth grade "graduation" was marred by behavior that was beyond egregiously rude BY THE ADULTS IN THE AUDIENCE!!! (I blogged about this in May of 07.) This year we decided to hold the ceremony in the morning (less time to drink and fewer rowdy siblings.) I will let you know the outcome.

Also, the girls, who had begged to dress up, came in outfits that made them look like junior hookers. What can I say?

Below is a copy of the letter we sent to parents and guardians this year. I wonder if we'll seee a difference. (I am hoping this is the last year we will have 6th grade "graduations" as it has gotten so out of hand.)



Dear Parents/Guardians,

The school year 2007- 2008 is coming to a close. The last day of school, May 22, 2008 your sixth grader will be participating in a culmination ceremony at 9:00 a.m. in the multi-purpose room. If you choose to do so you may check your child out for the day at the conclusion of the ceremony, or he/she may stay to the end of the regular school day.

There are a few guidelines concerning the ceremony. Children are encouraged to dress up for the ceremony but this should not include having to buy anything new. Clothes that would normally be worn to church would be ideal; long pants and nice shirts for the boys (no t-shirts or shorts) and dresses for the girls; no spaghetti straps, backless or strapless dresses for the girls.

We would also request that this ceremony be respected. It is not a sporting event nor a popularity contest; shouting, hooting or chanting are embarrassing for your child and simply not appropriate. Preferably, gifts, flowers and balloons should be given to students at home and would be distracting to the event. We hope the adults in attendance will be good role models.

If you have any questions, please contact your child’s teacher.

Sincerely,

ICHING -ARGHHHHHH!

This past week I got very sick with a cough (thank you students!). My doctor doesn't do "walk-ins" so I had to go to Urgent Care. Unbeknownst to me the old Urgent Care was closed up. I called my dear hubby in a despair who found a new one that was close by.


The young physician’s assistant wrote me prescriptions for a nuclear strength cough medicine and antibiotics. A few hours later I had broken out in a terrible rash. By morning my face was swollen and my lips looked like Goldie Hawn’s grossly enhanced lips in “The First Wives Club.” My hands, feet, waist and the area above my arms on my back look like leprosy. Even my ears are red and itchy! Dear Gary helped me call various places and I got a new prescription. He even volunteered to go pick it up for me. In the meantime the rash has spread and gotten much, much worse, although the coughing isn’t as bad. Is that improvement?


Usually when I have had a long run of really good health I can’t help myself and brag about it which, as everybody knows, is the surest way to tempt fate, but this time I didn’t. I am as miserable with the icthing as I was with the coughing. Surely there is a lesson to be learned here but I’ll be damned if I can figure it what it is.

Secrets of Standardized Testing

Tomorrow we start our AIMS, which is Arizona's Standardized testing. *sigh*


Secret#1 - Read the questions first. Even better - read the questions and answers first. Then you don't panic about the questions because you will know the questions and the answer choices.


Secret #2 - It's multiple choice:THEY GIVE YOU THE ANSWER!!!!! You have a 25% even if you just guess. (Forget the old thing about the "C" answer as a guess, that was back before they had computers mix up the answer choices.) Actually, if the questions and answers are read carefully the answers become obvious.


Secret #3 - This may sound hokey but it absolutely does work; imagine that you GET TO TAKE THIS TEST! Seriously, this does work. Your subconscious mind does what you tell it, and if you think something will be awful - bingo! it will be awful. If you think you get to do something it puts it in a whole new, and postitve light.


Secret #4 - After having taught for 30 years I can tell you that people who do well on tests use the above secrets. They know not to get stressed because that is self-sabotage. I promise, if you don't do well on a test no one will take you out back and shoot you.


Secret #5 - No matter how well I prepare my students, the scores are always a shock; some do far better than I hoped and some seemed to have not brought their brains along. Testing is a bigger crap-shoot than anything Vegas ever came up with. Nothing can be done about the teachers and students who cheat either, except that it always catches up with them eventually, and yes, there is a lot of cheating. (Statistically it is nearly impossible for an entire class to make unbelieveable gains in one year, but a blind eye is turned to that. Oh, well.)

NEW GRANDSON. Hooray! Welcome David!

I am off to meet my new grandson. The adoption went through much faster than anticipated so I have been a woman possessed getting ready. I am packed and lesson plans are on my desk for the Monday the 24th. (This week is spring break.)

Check out my daughter's blog (Beso Mami -link below) for pictures of this beautiful young man.

Big brother Tom and big sister Lily are adjusting well.(Do they realize that Baby David is staying?)

I SEE ....... TRENDS

I SEE:

- A DECLINE IN CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION.

- THE HOUSING FORECLOSURE RATE WILL GET MUCH WORSE.

- THERE WILL A GLUT OF UNSOLD NEW CARS AND TRUCKS.

- PARIS HILTON WILL FADE FROM VIEW.

-ALTHOUGH THIS MIGHT SOUND STRANGE SOMETHING GOOD, AND TOTALLY UNFORSEEN WILL COME OUT OF THE BAD; PERHAPS A NEW , SAFE ENERGY SOURCE, FOR EXAMPLE. (I know that could cover a lot of things.)

Happy Birthday, Tom!

Today is my grandson's 5th birthday.

Here he is with his beautiful mother.

Happy Birthday, precious Tom.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

We had a leak behind the dormer on our steeply pitched roof. I climbed up there with Gary to slap on the tar and flashing to repair the leak. Got my hands and clothes covered in tar but we think we did a good job.

I am especially proud of myself because I AM DEATHLY AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.

Vent.Vent.Vent.Vent.Vent,

I started to write a whiny vent, had to leave to get groceries as the cupboard was bare, came back and thought better of it.

Suffice to say that sometimes venting is exactly the right thing to do, that one needs to have friends and blogger friends who will sympathize, but this was not the time.

It is wonderful though, to know that there are people I will never meet, who will say comforting things, and that is quite wonderful and amazing.

Thanks anyway.

Superbowl Ripoffs

Superbowl tickets: $2,800 -$5,000

Parking: $65 - $300

Super 8 - $500 a night

Rent your home - set your own price.

Ah, the trouble with NCLB

In case you have been under a rock NCLB stands for "No Child Left Behind". I don't believe anyone knew that it would become a front for the testing companies to rake in billions of dollars on the backs of children. In years to come all the horrors that have come about as the result of this egregiously misnamed program will fill volumes.


Having just finished conferences this last week I reflect on NCLB. All but one of my sixth graders grade's improved. All have shown maturity. These kids are funny, kind, smart and, yes, very sweet. I call them my "little cupcakes and sweatshirts." They know I love them.


One little girl, truly a tiny thing, about the size of an eight year-old, has an amazing talent in drawing, but academically she has done something I didn't think possible; she has failed all but one subject. Her mother says that this has been ongoing and now she plans on sending her to a commercial tutoring center. The assessment costs $4,000. The child has no learning disabilities. She really doesn't care. The mother asked, "How do you make a child care?" My caring and encourgaement have been fruitless and I don't regard punishment as a viable method of motivation as so many parents and teachers do. The mother and I aren't really on the same page on that. *sigh*


I still feel badly for this child, but in my ongoing "Let It Go" mode I have learned that I am not a magician. I am a teacher. I am human. If I could make all kids love to learn then I could move on to cure all addicts. Yet, NCLB expects all teachers to be magicians.